Jul. 3rd, 2001 04:21 pm
Wow, it's been awhile. (How's that song go? "It's been awhile since ... blah blah blah" ... yeah, whatever.) Anyway, INDEPENDENCE DAY TOMORROW! WOO HOO! I had fun in Boston. Mainly. Anyway, not the point. 16 days till I leave. Yay! And nay! AT THE SAME TIME! (I think I had too much soda, no?)

Anyway. I got my plane tickets and everything. And also, I got my return date.

May 23rd.


I PAID for a year, I want a damn YEAR. I thought I'd GET a damn year cuz the language camp was something else, but fine, I don't get a year. BUT NOT EVEN 11 months? HELLO, EVERYONE gets 11 months. And I'm getting 10 months, 9 months with my permanent family? NINE MONTHS? That's insane. SCHOOL won't even be out then, I want to stay till the end of school. Unless it's in July ... no, I still want to stay. I know I can't go home after July 18 and that the visa will probably even make it earlier than that, but May 23rd? Thanks, but that's early! I mean, right now, it seems kinda good, actually. Like wow, I won't even miss summer or anything like that ... but chances are, knowing me, I'll eventually get attached and all and STILL!!!!

I was going to the car yesterday, and I just realized ... 16 days and I won't be driving (ok, it was 17 then but whatever). THANKS, to my program! Jeez ... blah. Anyway, whatever. I'm nervous. Hell, I spent four days in Boston and I was ready to go home! How am I going to deal with any longer? I keep thinking oh, I'll be ok, I'll deal, and I guess I will, I have to, but at the same time it's 16 days, I can't really use that "I'll be more mature and ready by then" thing, now can I??? Grrr ... Ashely to China really put it best, I guess. I don't want to say goodbye. *sighs*

Oh well. I'll have to deal. And only see Nicholas and Christopher and Matthew one more time and Nich and Critch don't understand I'm leaving and Matthew doesn't know and ahhhhhhh Friday .... and I don't even get to go out to dinner with them!!! *cries*

Okay. We're going to see Pearl Harbor later. Yippy-ki-yay or whatever.

See ya.

~ Jess


Jun. 20th, 2001 03:09 pm
I saw Pearl Harbor again last night. I love that movie, it makes me just ... proud. Proud to be an American. Though I wish Danny ... eh, I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it. If you have, you know *exactly* what I'm talking about. *cries*

July 19th will probably be such a long day ... the whole day up until I leave in the evening, just ... waiting. Waiting, knowing the inevitable is coming. Feeding the cats one last time. Checking my email one last time. Hugging my family one last time. *cries again* It's going to be so hard.

It hit me, when I was watching Pearl Harbor yesterday, and they were talking about the "dirty Germans" ... I'm so lucky. I get to go to the country that used to be our enemy and LIVE there and become a PART of the culture ... I can't wait to go. I'm so lucky, but it also hit me how REAL it's going to be. How real it will all be. I'll really be there for a year and months will pass and I'll go to school and eat sausages and say "Jesus Christ" like "Yay-sus krist" without even thinking (or not at all since that's supposedly offensive, though I guess that's true here too) And ... I don't know. It's all very wow.

I don't have much else to say. I wish Mom would get home so I could go out, but then I have to face my former employers at Target and ask for my last paycheck and ... and go to the gym and all and that's blah but still. I hope the simpler bikes are free. And that I can figure out how to use them, cause I'm sick of the Stairmaster (funny how easily I get sick of that, huh?!) But I want a soda. Except, the new building at the college burned down today (grrr ...) and so no one can even get past it to the little corner store to get a soda, but oh well. I want to go to the mall. I want a bikini top, except I'm broke. But my lovely little 6.99 blue bikini top from American Eagle ripped! Well, one of the halter ties did and that's enough. It's not totally ripped but I'd hate to be wearing it and suddenly have a "Hall of Shame" moment for Teen, y'know? Pray tell, can I wear a black bikini top with blue bikini bottoms? I hope so, cuz I doubt I'll find the same color top. Maybe I'll get a tankini top but I want my top it look ... heh, bigger, y'know? I'm way too little.

But oh well. I'm done rambling!!!


Jun. 19th, 2001 06:33 pm
I'm so bored right now!!! I think I'm going to go see Pearl Harbor with my friend again tonight. I saw it before but she didn't ... but it was a really good movie so I don't mind seeing it again.

Except that I'm broke, and her mom won't let her in the car with me. But otherwise, it's cool.

"Lay all you want on me ... I'll be your whipping boy." ... heh, I love this song. Train rocks! I think they're going to just use every state in a song. First we had a girl named Virginia, now a girl named Mississippi. *shrugs* How very strange.

Uck. I'm going to brush my teeth. (Great info, right?? :) ... ooh, I'm gonna live 150 metres from the beach (read: abt 500 feet!) in just a month from today.

ACK ... I'M LEAVING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!! Weird much. *sighs*

Adios, mes amis. (I can't decide which language. *g*)

~ Jess



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