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why don't you stay? :(
Aug. 10th, 2008 05:17 amWhen I met Mario, I told myself -- this is worth it. Whatever happens, tis better to have loved and lost.
I am 23 and should still be that naive but instead I'm jaded. I'm jaded by a man who swore he'd make an exception for me. ("Don't," I told him, months ago. "Don't do anything for me.") I am instead falling apart for someone who cant't love me like that.
"Don't you love me?" I asked, because I am stupid and vulnerable. (I was so careful at the bar not to say anything -- no matter what happened, if I said nothing I had the upper hand and could address it tomorrow, but when I got in the car I lose control.)
"Jessica, you know I'm gay," he said. "How did you think this would go?"
"It doesn't matter. You'll never hurt me as much as he did," I lied.
He will. He already has. But he could kill me before he'd ever have the satisfaction of knowing that.
I am 23 and should still be that naive but instead I'm jaded. I'm jaded by a man who swore he'd make an exception for me. ("Don't," I told him, months ago. "Don't do anything for me.") I am instead falling apart for someone who cant't love me like that.
"Don't you love me?" I asked, because I am stupid and vulnerable. (I was so careful at the bar not to say anything -- no matter what happened, if I said nothing I had the upper hand and could address it tomorrow, but when I got in the car I lose control.)
"Jessica, you know I'm gay," he said. "How did you think this would go?"
"It doesn't matter. You'll never hurt me as much as he did," I lied.
He will. He already has. But he could kill me before he'd ever have the satisfaction of knowing that.
