For SAMANTHA!
Jun. 30th, 2006 02:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
didvenusblowyourmindOnce upon a time, Sammie asked me for crackfic. I, being the normal person I am, attempted to ignore her.
Our Sammie is very persistent, and sick. By sick I mean congested, not perverted, though considering the kind of fic she asked me to write, she might be that too.
In any case, I now present crack!fic for Sammie. So to anyone else who reads this, and goes, oh my god seriously what the fuck ... my apologies.
AN: I don't know if it's been established in the canon, but I'm making Jensen the top here. Hope that doesn't make it AU!
One day in July, when it was about 412 fucking degrees at Dean From Gilmore Girls (referred to hereafter as DFGG) and Jensen's hotel, they decided it was probably a good idea to go for a swim before they began to boil and/or combust.
Unfortunately, they were staying at the Motel 6 (they weren't exactly rolling in money, after all), and Motel 6 pools were probably cleaned less often than the towels were. Considering that DFGG and Jensen had been forced to buy their own towels after that roach incident, it was safe to say that cleaning did not occur very often.
Thus, DFGG and Jensen were forced to come up with a new plan. DFGG immediately suggested hot, passionate sex. Jensen didn't even contemplate this before giving DFGG a look that clearly said, 'are you nuts? Sex will make us hotter, not cool us down!' DFGG marveled over their pseduo-telepathy, and then had a better idea.
"I know," DFGG said, "Let's go to the Hilton."
"DFGG," Jensen said patiently, "We can't afford the Hilton. That's why we're at the Motel 6, remember?"
DFGG gave Jensen A Look (you know, one of those 'you're not really that stupid' looks), and said, "No, let's go swimming at the Hilton. We'll just climb the fence."
It was very fortunate that DFGG and Jensen had such killer bods, or climbing a really fucking high fence would have been a bit of a problem. But fortunately, they worked out (*cough cough*) like woah, so they scaled the fence with no problem.
"Uhm, Jensen," DFGG said when they go to the other side, "We didn't bring any swim trunks."
Jensen shrugged. "That's okay, DFGG. We'll go skinny dipping."
DFGG immediately stripped. The small child on the chair next to him immediately gawked. The small child's mother immediately screamed, and Jensen did the only thing he could think of to rectify the situation -- he grabbed DFGG's dick. (In his defense, that movement DID hide it from the view of the small child! At least, until it grew ... unfortunately, Jensen's hands weren't quite THAT large.)
Fortunately, the entire incident was more than enough for Angry Mother to drag away Fascinated Child, and DFGG and Jensen were alone at last. Logically, this would have been the point where they a) got in the pool or b) Jensen jerked off DFGG (he WAS holding his erection, after all), but boys are generally not logical, so they stood there for a minute. Eventually, logic caught up to them, and Jensen decided that he had better strip too. Of course, DFGG wasn't particularly pleased at the loss of, uhm, pressure, and really thought that it was much more logical (if a bit tricky) for him to strip Jensen while Jensen kept his hand juuuuust where it was. This took a few minutes, since DFGG couldn't exactly concentrate on anything beyond his dick in Jensen's hand.
Jensen decided what the fuck, he might as well jerk DFGG off once before they got in the pool, because otherwise there was no way DFGG was going to last once he got his dick in -- okay, he needed to curb the dirty thoughts or he wasn't going to last either, and that would be really embarassing, because he wasn't even touching himself. So, he got to work, and with a few quick strokes DFGG was gasping and spilling into his hand.
"Ready to go skinny dipping?" Jensen asked, jumping into the pool. It was kind of a miracle that no one else had come outside to use the pool, considering that it was hotter than the face of the sun. Angry Mother had probably warned off the entire hotel. Jensen realized they had better get to fucking, before the police showed up and arrested them all, like that time on Queer as Folk when Vic was pissing in the bathroom and got arrested. Except, they'd be getting arrested for actual sex, not for pissing. Pissing in the pool would make it almost as dirty as the Motel 6 pool, which would defeat the purpose. Logically, coming in the pool was probably equally as gross to any unsuspecting swimmers, but in Jensen's mind, it wasn't nearly as bad as piss.
So anyway, Jensen was in the pool, and DFGG was wobbling a bit, since he had just come all over the place. (Well, all over Jensen's hand, but the effect on his legs was the same.) He half-jumped, half-fell into the pool, and Jensen immediately tackled him and began sucking. In a positive, life-affirming way. DFGG was quickly hard again (because gay males can get hard at least once every 5.2 minutes), and, well, Jensen had been hard since DFGG began stripping.
"Hey Jensen?" DFGG asked (rather, moaned). "Do you think there's something wrong with the fact that we're about to fuck in a semi-upscale pool that we broke into?"
Jensen was slightly preoccupied with working his fingers in DFGG's ass, so it took him a minute to respond. "No," he said finally. "But there's probably something wrong with the fact that we're brothers."
DFGG's eyes widened, though it's hard to say exactly what caused that. "It's like ... Wincest!"
"Ohhh," Jensen moaned, and DFGG was not positive if he was moaning at the idea of Wincest or because DFGG had started stroking his cock. Or both.
DFGG was getting impatient with Jensen's foreplay. It wasn't like he had never taken it up the ass before. "Damn it, Jensen, HURRY UP."
Jensen quickly pulled his fingers out and positioned his cock. Pool water wasn't the best lubricant, but beggars couldn't be choosers. And DFGG was definitely about to start begging.
"Are you sure we can do it bareback, Jen? You're kind of a slut."
Jensen groaned. It wasn't exactly like he kept condoms in his ass. "Every time we fight something supernatural we end up bleeding all over each other, you know. So shut up and let's fuck already."
DFGG didn't need to be told twice. He braced his hands on the edge of the pool, biting his lip as Jensen pushed in. Jensen immediately decided that pool sex was the best thing ever, and there was no way he was going to last very long. DFGG must have felt the same way, because he was rubbing his dick against the tile on the pool wall and groaning a lot, and damn if that didn't just make it hotter.
So, yeah, about three minutes later it was all over, and the pool was that much dirtier. Or fuller, depending on how you looked at it.
"We should stay the Hilton," DFGG said after Jensen pulled out. "Their pool is awesome."
"It's too expensive," Jensen reminded him. He stared at his clothes, trying to decide whether he should put them on wet, or just carry them back to the Motel 6 with him. The idea of injuring his dick while climbing the fence out of the Hilton pool was a bit frightening, though, so he put his clothes back on. Besides, then they clung to his body all sexy-like, and who could resist hotwetsexygayJensen?
"We could fill the bathtub up at the motel and fuck in there," DFGG suggested while getting dressed. He, too, was still soaking wet, but no one could really resist hotwetsexygayDFGG, and the two of them all hot and wet together should have been illegal. (Well, actually, the whole incest thing meant they kind of were, but that's neither here nor there.)
"Good idea," Jensen agreed, practically hard again at the thought.
Just then, the police showed up, so the Wincest boys ran back to the Motel 6 and got in the hot tub (erm, the bathtub). The police found them, of course, but being the hot, understanding, Brian-and-Justin lookalikes that they were, they just couldn't bring themselves to arrest the boys.
So they joined in instead.
THE END!
Our Sammie is very persistent, and sick. By sick I mean congested, not perverted, though considering the kind of fic she asked me to write, she might be that too.
In any case, I now present crack!fic for Sammie. So to anyone else who reads this, and goes, oh my god seriously what the fuck ... my apologies.
AN: I don't know if it's been established in the canon, but I'm making Jensen the top here. Hope that doesn't make it AU!
One day in July, when it was about 412 fucking degrees at Dean From Gilmore Girls (referred to hereafter as DFGG) and Jensen's hotel, they decided it was probably a good idea to go for a swim before they began to boil and/or combust.
Unfortunately, they were staying at the Motel 6 (they weren't exactly rolling in money, after all), and Motel 6 pools were probably cleaned less often than the towels were. Considering that DFGG and Jensen had been forced to buy their own towels after that roach incident, it was safe to say that cleaning did not occur very often.
Thus, DFGG and Jensen were forced to come up with a new plan. DFGG immediately suggested hot, passionate sex. Jensen didn't even contemplate this before giving DFGG a look that clearly said, 'are you nuts? Sex will make us hotter, not cool us down!' DFGG marveled over their pseduo-telepathy, and then had a better idea.
"I know," DFGG said, "Let's go to the Hilton."
"DFGG," Jensen said patiently, "We can't afford the Hilton. That's why we're at the Motel 6, remember?"
DFGG gave Jensen A Look (you know, one of those 'you're not really that stupid' looks), and said, "No, let's go swimming at the Hilton. We'll just climb the fence."
It was very fortunate that DFGG and Jensen had such killer bods, or climbing a really fucking high fence would have been a bit of a problem. But fortunately, they worked out (*cough cough*) like woah, so they scaled the fence with no problem.
"Uhm, Jensen," DFGG said when they go to the other side, "We didn't bring any swim trunks."
Jensen shrugged. "That's okay, DFGG. We'll go skinny dipping."
DFGG immediately stripped. The small child on the chair next to him immediately gawked. The small child's mother immediately screamed, and Jensen did the only thing he could think of to rectify the situation -- he grabbed DFGG's dick. (In his defense, that movement DID hide it from the view of the small child! At least, until it grew ... unfortunately, Jensen's hands weren't quite THAT large.)
Fortunately, the entire incident was more than enough for Angry Mother to drag away Fascinated Child, and DFGG and Jensen were alone at last. Logically, this would have been the point where they a) got in the pool or b) Jensen jerked off DFGG (he WAS holding his erection, after all), but boys are generally not logical, so they stood there for a minute. Eventually, logic caught up to them, and Jensen decided that he had better strip too. Of course, DFGG wasn't particularly pleased at the loss of, uhm, pressure, and really thought that it was much more logical (if a bit tricky) for him to strip Jensen while Jensen kept his hand juuuuust where it was. This took a few minutes, since DFGG couldn't exactly concentrate on anything beyond his dick in Jensen's hand.
Jensen decided what the fuck, he might as well jerk DFGG off once before they got in the pool, because otherwise there was no way DFGG was going to last once he got his dick in -- okay, he needed to curb the dirty thoughts or he wasn't going to last either, and that would be really embarassing, because he wasn't even touching himself. So, he got to work, and with a few quick strokes DFGG was gasping and spilling into his hand.
"Ready to go skinny dipping?" Jensen asked, jumping into the pool. It was kind of a miracle that no one else had come outside to use the pool, considering that it was hotter than the face of the sun. Angry Mother had probably warned off the entire hotel. Jensen realized they had better get to fucking, before the police showed up and arrested them all, like that time on Queer as Folk when Vic was pissing in the bathroom and got arrested. Except, they'd be getting arrested for actual sex, not for pissing. Pissing in the pool would make it almost as dirty as the Motel 6 pool, which would defeat the purpose. Logically, coming in the pool was probably equally as gross to any unsuspecting swimmers, but in Jensen's mind, it wasn't nearly as bad as piss.
So anyway, Jensen was in the pool, and DFGG was wobbling a bit, since he had just come all over the place. (Well, all over Jensen's hand, but the effect on his legs was the same.) He half-jumped, half-fell into the pool, and Jensen immediately tackled him and began sucking. In a positive, life-affirming way. DFGG was quickly hard again (because gay males can get hard at least once every 5.2 minutes), and, well, Jensen had been hard since DFGG began stripping.
"Hey Jensen?" DFGG asked (rather, moaned). "Do you think there's something wrong with the fact that we're about to fuck in a semi-upscale pool that we broke into?"
Jensen was slightly preoccupied with working his fingers in DFGG's ass, so it took him a minute to respond. "No," he said finally. "But there's probably something wrong with the fact that we're brothers."
DFGG's eyes widened, though it's hard to say exactly what caused that. "It's like ... Wincest!"
"Ohhh," Jensen moaned, and DFGG was not positive if he was moaning at the idea of Wincest or because DFGG had started stroking his cock. Or both.
DFGG was getting impatient with Jensen's foreplay. It wasn't like he had never taken it up the ass before. "Damn it, Jensen, HURRY UP."
Jensen quickly pulled his fingers out and positioned his cock. Pool water wasn't the best lubricant, but beggars couldn't be choosers. And DFGG was definitely about to start begging.
"Are you sure we can do it bareback, Jen? You're kind of a slut."
Jensen groaned. It wasn't exactly like he kept condoms in his ass. "Every time we fight something supernatural we end up bleeding all over each other, you know. So shut up and let's fuck already."
DFGG didn't need to be told twice. He braced his hands on the edge of the pool, biting his lip as Jensen pushed in. Jensen immediately decided that pool sex was the best thing ever, and there was no way he was going to last very long. DFGG must have felt the same way, because he was rubbing his dick against the tile on the pool wall and groaning a lot, and damn if that didn't just make it hotter.
So, yeah, about three minutes later it was all over, and the pool was that much dirtier. Or fuller, depending on how you looked at it.
"We should stay the Hilton," DFGG said after Jensen pulled out. "Their pool is awesome."
"It's too expensive," Jensen reminded him. He stared at his clothes, trying to decide whether he should put them on wet, or just carry them back to the Motel 6 with him. The idea of injuring his dick while climbing the fence out of the Hilton pool was a bit frightening, though, so he put his clothes back on. Besides, then they clung to his body all sexy-like, and who could resist hotwetsexygayJensen?
"We could fill the bathtub up at the motel and fuck in there," DFGG suggested while getting dressed. He, too, was still soaking wet, but no one could really resist hotwetsexygayDFGG, and the two of them all hot and wet together should have been illegal. (Well, actually, the whole incest thing meant they kind of were, but that's neither here nor there.)
"Good idea," Jensen agreed, practically hard again at the thought.
Just then, the police showed up, so the Wincest boys ran back to the Motel 6 and got in the hot tub (erm, the bathtub). The police found them, of course, but being the hot, understanding, Brian-and-Justin lookalikes that they were, they just couldn't bring themselves to arrest the boys.
So they joined in instead.
THE END!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 06:42 am (UTC)Dude. That was fucking CRACKTASTIC. I think I love you, like, a lot. ♥
My favourite parts:
DFGG was quickly hard again (because gay males can get hard at least once every 5.2 minutes), and, well, Jensen had been hard since DFGG began stripping.
and
No," he said finally. "But there's probably something wrong with the fact that we're brothers."
DFGG's eyes widened, though it's hard to say exactly what caused that. "It's like ... Wincest!"
Hee. You rock!